Tuesday, September 29, 2020

Summary 1st Draft (revised 6/10)

In the article, “Top Sustainable Technologies in Green Construction” by ConstructionClimateChallenge (2019) claims that green construction “makes buildings more energy-efficient and sustainable”. This article focuses on introducing sustainable construction technologies that enhance the environment. There are three main topics which are materials, applications, and design. Firstly, the technologies under materials: “Cool roofs”, “Electrochromic smart glass”, “Rammed earth bricks”, “Green insulation”, “Biodegradable materials”, and “Sustainable resource sourcing” suggest that it helps in the reduction of “heat absorption” and the harmful impacts on the environment by using recycled or sustainable raw materials. Secondly, the applications which are “Water efficiency technologies”, “Sustainable indoor environment technologies”, and “Solar powers”. These applications intend to conserve resources and discourage the use of substances and materials that cannot be renewed while reducing damaging impacts on the environment. The last point is design which includes “Low energy house and Zero-energy building design”, “Self-powered building” and “The use of smart application”. They are designed to conserve and produce energy for the building to generate sufficient power. Green construction not only makes buildings more sustainable by using resource-efficient and environmentally process but also reduces costs for building owners. While I agree to some extent with ConstructionClimateChallenge that green construction helps to reduce costs even though the start-up cost for building a green building is high, I feel that it will be covered eventually by the reduction of costs through green construction.


Reference:

ConstructionClimateChallenge.com (2019). Top Sustainable Technologies in Green Construction.

https://constructionclimatechallenge.com/2019/02/19/top-sustainable-technologies-in-green construction/

4 comments:

  1. Dear Yume,

    I have read through your summary and here are my two cents! As discussed in class,
    1. Missing an "in" at the beginning of the sentence.
    2. In the sentence "to enhance green construction", it is preferable to change "to" to "which", and you can replace "green construction" with another term to avoid the using "construction" twice.
    3. There are sentence fragments that needs to be rephrased. For example, "the technologies under materials".
    4. Improper capitalisation. I feel that there is no need for capitalising the terms in the quotation marks.
    5. There are run-on sentences.
    6. There is an error here "by using resource-efficient and environmentally process".
    7. The last sentence, I feel that "and" should be used instead of "but".

    Otherwise, the content is clear and I understand the use of technologies to better the environment.

    Cheers,
    Valencia

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Valencia, Thank you for the comment. I will definitely take your comment into consideration to improve my summary!

      Delete
  2. Hi Yume,

    I like how you used words like "Firstly" and "Secondly", to create a seamless transition in your writing.

    However, I would like to share with you some possible improvements.
    I feel that there were some grammar issues with the singular and plural form of words. One example lies in this sentence, "Firstly, the technologies...suggests that it helps in the reduction of absorption of heat". I feel that "technologies", being the main focus, is in plural form, but "suggests" is used for singular objects. So, perhaps it would be better to decide on choosing either singular or plural form when writing. In this case, you might want to change "suggests" to "suggest".
    In that same sentence, I feel that "helps in the reduction of absorption of heat" can be simplified to "helps in reduction of heat absorption" for better clarity.

    Another issue I realised is that you tend to capitalize the start of every quote. It is not necessary to do so unless the capitalization is stated in the original article.

    These are just some suggestions for you to improve on. Overall, I enjoyed reading your summary. Good job!

    Warmest regards,
    Ash

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Ash, Thank you for the comment. I will improve my summary with the given feedback from you!

      Delete

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