Dear Professor Brad,
My name is Tay Yume and I am writing this letter to introduce myself to you to allow you to know me better as your student in the effective communication class. Having graduated from Integrated Facility Management in Temasek Polytechnic, I have been exposed to some of the modules that are in my current course which is Sustainable Infrastructure Engineering (Building Service). With this similarity that the course have, I finally decided to enroll in this course to further my studies. My interest in engineering started when I was young as I enjoyed constructing different structures using legos and making sure that they are able to stand on their own.
For my weakness in communication, I tend to be quite shy while talking to a big audience and it always hinders me while I am doing presentations. With this weakness at hand, I usually will end up portraying myself as an unconfident person even though I know what I need to deliver during my presentation.
On the other hand, I am someone who is a good listening ear to my friends and is able to provide some advice to them. I am also able to lead a group in group projects if there is a need too. I will take the initiative to start the ball rolling and get the team to be on tasks so that we do not need to rush at the end.
My goals for this module is to be able to improve and be more confident during presentations as well as to be able to improve my writing. I am quite weak in my writing as I have a limitation on my vocabulary. I always have the tendency to write as though I am talking so it really reflects on my writing which causes it to be grammatically wrong. As for my presentation skills, I always tend to get really nervous whenever I need to present in front of a big group of people and it always makes me look as though I am weaker in speaking as compared to my groupmates when there is a group presentation. This issue always stresses me as due to my presentation skills I feel that I will pull my team down during presentations. I hope through this module, I will be able to improve both my writing as well as my presentation skills.
In my opinion, I think the thing that differentiates me from others is that I am more of a hands-on person in terms of me being able to figure things out by myself without any instructions or steps to follow. An example that I have would be that whenever I get a new gadget, I would not read any of the instructions on how to start up the item and go straight to using it and figure it out by myself.
Thank you for taking the time to read my introduction letter about myself.
Best regards,
Tay Yume
Revised on 6th October 2020
Read: Wei Ying's, Tobi's and Eryn's Blog
Thanks for the effort with this letter, Yume. I look forward to seeing feedback from your blogging group members, and I will comment after that.
ReplyDeleteHi Yume, content wise all the pointers are fulfilled, just that there are a few grammatical errors in your essay.
ReplyDeleteHi Bernice, Thank you for your reply. May I know where are the grammatical errors?
DeleteIt is a well written letter as you have fulfilled the contents needed and supported each point with an explanation. However, I feel that you can write your strength in another paragraph.
ReplyDeleteHi Eryn, thank you for the comment. I will take a look at my letter again.
DeleteHi Yume,
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing about yourself, through this letter I felt that I have learn new things about you.
It is a well written letter with all the points fulfilled. Your objectives are clear and it is concise with the points being straight forward. However I feel that you should elaborate more on one part of your goals which is being confident during presentation as it is not supported with evidence.
Hi Wei Ying, thank you for the comment. I will improve and add in some elaboration for that part that you have mention.
DeleteHi Yume,
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing, it was a pleasure reading your introduction letter.
Firstly, I feel that you have covered all the necessary content with detailed explanation. I like the fact that one of the goals you have from this module is related to your weakness that you wish to improve on. However, I wish to know more on what differentiate you from others. Maybe provide a simple real-life scenario in which you figure things out without referring to instruction.
Secondly, I like that you started your sentence with the subject of the content such as “my interest….”, “my weakness….”, “my goals….”. It is very organized, and it gave me a heads up on what I am reading.
Overall, I truly enjoyed reading your letter and I hope to get to know you more moving forward. I hope that my feedback has given you more confidence in your letter writing, and hope that you could use my opinion as a guidance.
Best regards,
Tobias Hanputra
Hi Tobias, thank you for the comment. I will improve on the part on what differentiate me from others.
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteDear Yume,
ReplyDeleteThank you for this clear, detailed letter. It's nice to learn about your background, your comm skills and your goals.
You write that, among having other traits, you are an empathetic listener and that you like to initiate project work. That's fantastic. Those skill are important in our module and in study and work in general.
There are a few language issues to address in this letter:
1. verb tense
-- My interest in engineering started when I was young as I enjoying constructing different structures using legos and making sure that they are able to stand on their own. > My interest in engineering started when I was young as I enjoyed constructing different structures using legos and making sure that they were able to stand on their own.
-- I usually will end up either portraying myself as an unconfident person even though I do know what I need to deliver during my presentation. >. (verb tense consistency). ?
-- I am also able to lead a group in group projects if there is a need too, I would take the initiative to start the ball rolling and get the team to be on tasks so that we do not need to rush at the end. > (comma splice + verb tense)
2. sentence structure
-- I have a limitation on my vocabulary and I always have the tendency to write as though I am talking so it really reflects on my writing which causes it to be grammatically wrong. > (punctuation ... break into several sentences)
We will address each of the items you mention as a weakness. :)
Cheers,
Brad
Hi Professor Brad, thank you for the comment. I will make some changes to my letter and looking forward to be able to improve on my weakness in this module
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